Veterans Reunited | You're A Grandparent
Veterans Reunited
How To Be Grandparents
You’ve been deployed away from home for a long time but you’re finally discharged from the military. Your kids have children of their own now so that makes you a grandparent. You’re a veteran reunited with the family now so life can really go north from here. Whether you had fun being a parent or not, the grandparents roll is terrific. I’m going to tell you how to do it.
Understand that you play the support roll, not the first position. Explain this to your kids/ the parents asap. As a grandparent, you’ll follow rules the parents establish.
Tell your kid that when they were growing up as their parent, you did things your way. Now it’s their turn to raise your grandchildren the way they think is best. Tell them there will be things that you won’t agree with but you will not challenge their authority in front of the grandkids. Let them know that when you arrive, you’re only a visitor.
When the grandkids ask for permission, they’ll always be told to ask mommy or daddy. Explain that your roll is to support the parents, have fun with the grandchildren and then go home. Explain that you’ll ask permission to take your grandkids places and occasionally have them spend the night. Once reunified, that’s what grandparents do.
In-law Relationships: Exhibit nothing but respect for the in-laws/ other relatives. Never criticize your in-laws and always give them space. Try not to visit when the in-laws visit unless you’re invited for a special occasion. Don’t hog the holidays or attend every invitation you get when the in-laws will be there. When the in-laws are around, don’t monopolize the grandkids either. Back off veteran so the grands can have time, hugs and kisses from the in-laws too. If you do this, you’ll probably have at least a decent in-law relationship and maybe a good one.
Making Yourself Valuable: Many veteran grandparents are on fixed incomes and have more time than money. Buying stuff doesn’t open doors to your grandkids but time does warm hearts. Reunification with the family is more valuable than money you throw around. Spend time doing things you can like occasionally washing dishes at their house or picking the grands up from school. Reunify by baby sitting so the parents can go shopping or have a date night out. Volunteer to make breakfast at their home so the grands can help. Stop off and bring donuts sometime. Give them reasons to look forward to your visits. Reunification pays off in the heart where it really matters.