Soldiers Coming Home To Girlfriends
The day you’ve been waiting for will be happening soon. You’ve been deployed for a long time but communications remained good. There were times when you weren’t sure if you would get home. One of the guys in your unit was killed so you knew there were no guarantees.
A couple of other soldiers came back to find out their girl was cheating. Others proposed marriage when they got home and are now living the American dream. We don’t have much control over how this story with your girlfriend back home will end but you can control parts of the new beginning.
The day you left home heading to basic training or deployment, you and your girl meant every promise made. The problem is, you’re not same man and she’s not the same woman either.
Somebody, somewhere once said that if you don’t grow together, you will grow apart. You had communications by cell phone, video conference and weekend visits home. You both felt the pain each time it was over and you had to go back to work. In those moments, you were talking with a memory of the girl you left behind and not the woman she became while you were gone.
You’ve changed too my friend so don’t put all this on her. She remembers an earlier version of you that enjoyed the silly little things. Now that you’ve been a soldier and exposed to God knows what, you’re a man now. You might not have patience for the silly little things anymore. You’ve grown in one direction and she grew up going someplace else. Don’t go back expecting things to be the same, they won’t.
Instead, talk to her in advance about getting to know each other all over again. Don’t try to rush things or ask questions you really don’t want the answers for. I recommend not asking or telling about other relationships. One of you probably won’t believe the answers anyway and you you might not like the answers if you did disclose that info. This is a relationship minefield loaded with explosives.
If you can accept the worst that may or may not have happened and still move on, you stand a good chance for success. You may have been involved with others and maybe she was too. It doesn’t mean that you don’t still love each other. If you jump in that minefield though, there might be trouble that can’t ever be erased. Try getting to know the person you’ve been away from. Maybe she’ll like the man you’ve become and maybe you’ll like the new woman too. Soldiers coming home to girlfriends can be a beautiful thing.